Alot of different things have been on my mind for the past few weeks. Progress. Changes. Absolution. Gratitude...
After I shaved my head I went to work out in the yard, and for the first day, I didnt put any sunscreen on. That left me a bit burnt, abit flaky after a week as well. The rest of the week I wore a wet shirt tied like a turban. The cool water that I kept applying was nice, like a soothing liquid crown.
Cutting down some trees in the front yard and sweating in the sun while the rest of the country is in mid-freeze, we tried to save as many birds nests as we came across. We realized that this project probably should have been done in the winter rather than spring. Eliel relocated most of them up into the stumps that were left at about 12 feet.
These Italian Cypress are really nice trees when properly maintained and trained. These must be about 40 years old and have never been trimmed or shaped. Crows landing on small branches too whole sections and sprouted them out at unflattering angles. The worst part is the needles, as the branches grow
close to the trunk, they catch all of the loose needles, and pile them in the middle of the tree. The tree then responds by growing out the branches wider and bushier, and makes a great 60 foot candlestick if any wayward fireworks embed themselves into it. I really liked these trees regardless of their nature, they kill most plants underneath them with their needles, but they withstand the howling Santa Susana winds which blast through the valley at Indianapolis 500 speeds. Riping them out to plant more estetically pleasing trees, possibly Birch, and uping the curb appeal of the house was one of the many goals. Well that part of the project is half way through.
Some of my friends are at odds with each other. We didn't all grow up together, we more found each other through (circumstance?) I really don't follow that line of thought; Chance, Luck. Whatever it was, we were all destined to cross paths and become friends. Some of us became close friends with a bond that I recognize as best of friendship, others we all tolerated, I being in both of these groups. Lori was one that I got along with, but we probably would not have been friends with under other circumstances.
We grew to like each other and admire good qualities. Kent was one of those people that almost anyone could get along with, he had a good heart. I think that I got along with Dave better than he got along with me, he had no qualms about letting me know that I was a dork, and that I already knew. Heather was also one that was able to get along with a wide range of people, a peotic life. Matt, along with Kent were my most close friends growing up, and I didn't really hang out with them until High School. Matt has the type of personality that is magnetic.
After High School Matt and Lori married, had three children and 18 years into it, she left him, actually she pushed him out. Matt has recently married Tanya,and overcoming the hurt. Dave and Heather married and are in the Abyss called Southern Utah. they were the first to have children, three boys. Kent married, moved to Hawaii and then back, and has subsequently disappeared. I married Matt's sister Jennifer, and we're in the same house I was in when I was 9.
Loris actions during her split with Matt upset me and most of Matt's family. She doesnt understand it. I wrote her an open letter here;
<&>No one is perfect and I'll be first to point out my own faults; I'm a dork first and foremost... there are too many to list. I wonder how my friends put up with me growing up, sometimes I see that they didn't, but they're imperfect as well.
<&>I remember sitting in your livingroom as you spoke of your love and how you felt that you couldn't live without him, and later to hear that you say you were not happy for the last few years, is an outright lie even to yourself.
<&>When I came up to Chico that fateful night after Matt came to to Simi to get some sanity from his world that was spinning; and I saw where he was and where you were, I told you not to do what you were doing. I sat over the next year as you caressed his cheek while punching him in the stomach.
<&>When we were all in San Diego you kept touting the 'let's be friends' motive, but friends don't do what you were doing. You were stringing him along as a safety curtain for yourself. You were allowing him to believe that there was a possiblility of a reconciliation when in your mind it was over. Be honest with yourself.
<&>"Its always been about Lori and her feelings above all others, since Royal High where she would push her way through the hallways, not caring if she was bumping into people or who she was hurting." This sums it up. Its always been about Lori and her feelings above all others.
<&>You were my sister. you still are... it would be hypocritical of me to say that your life from now on should be miserable.
<&>I pointed all of this out because I hated seeing what was happening to Matt. I felt I had to make him angry at you to see the situation as it was. So I pointed out your faults and rubbed them in. In doing so, I expose some of my own, but at least Matt is in a better place now, not continuing to get a slug in the gut.
<&>What other husband cooked dinner, cleaned the house and dishes, while his wife went to school, all the while working himself? Matt was a great husband. No, I didn't live with him, but I could see from another husbands point of view that he did more than his share in that marriage. I should say here that he IS a great husband. Tanya could say it better than I...
No one is without difficulties and imperfection in all aspects. Heather and Matt are no longer friends because of info that was withheld during the divorce and general bitterness going back and forth. I dont blame anyone in all of it,
it just sucks to watch it happen.
"Dont stop believing, hold on to that feeling" the song screams. Where did it all go? For me it morphed into my marriage and my children. My wife is the most important person in the world. Not just because she is my wife, but because I love her.
Words can never exp
ress it. Pictures and videos only document and show effects of it. There is an old adage that goes; 'I need you because I love you', not 'I love you because I need you'. The first being a truer love, regardless of ulterior motives, the latter being the need to possess (for whatever is being returned). She is thoughtful and considerate of others, a peacekeeper. She serves and helps others willingly without regards for compensation. In and of herself, she is a good person.
We grew to like each other and admire good qualities. Kent was one of those people that almost anyone could get along with, he had a good heart. I think that I got along with Dave better than he got along with me, he had no qualms about letting me know that I was a dork, and that I already knew. Heather was also one that was able to get along with a wide range of people, a peotic life. Matt, along with Kent were my most close friends growing up, and I didn't really hang out with them until High School. Matt has the type of personality that is magnetic.
